Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
