Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize