I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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