Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The Olympian is in my bed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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