She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
