I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Send help, water and tortillas.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize