Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
