the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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