You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
