He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
