he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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