I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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