He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to fling myself into the sun
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
