Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
