I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
