she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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