he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize
