Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?

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(248) 3:38a: you guys up to anything right now? http://tfl.nu/ssfd

Replies (9) Good night (1705) Bad night (1043)
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(847): View more from Illinois

i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.

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(847): i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out. http://tfl.nu/gev3

Replies (509) Good night (87551) Bad night (9170)
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(518): View more from New York

He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.

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(518): He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here. http://tfl.nu/dgde

Replies (15) Good night (630) Bad night (3269)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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(860): Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture. http://tfl.nu/0rjo

Replies (18) Good night (4570) Bad night (1235)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.

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(318): Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated. http://tfl.nu/sxgj

Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (2506)
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(801): View more from Utah

Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.

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(801): Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body. http://tfl.nu/oco3

Replies (4) Good night (942) Bad night (2666)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me

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(605): mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me http://tfl.nu/m5ve

Replies (4) Good night (3283) Bad night (798)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?

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(603): should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format? http://tfl.nu/bwcb

Replies (26) Good night (11699) Bad night (1752)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

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(601): I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it. http://tfl.nu/j6vg

Replies (16) Good night (1091) Bad night (2091)
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(913): View more from Kansas

did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.

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(913): did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box. http://tfl.nu/h01u

Replies (10) Good night (3297) Bad night (1678)
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(519): View more from Ontario

This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace

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(519): This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace http://tfl.nu/d3z0

Replies (5) Good night (594) Bad night (1342)
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(801): View more from Utah

When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.

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(801): When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw. http://tfl.nu/4mnb

Replies (9) Good night (1151) Bad night (464)
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(586): View more from Michigan

Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.

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(586): Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent. http://tfl.nu/up93

Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (289)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now

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(662): I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now http://tfl.nu/ipud

Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (494)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.

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(313): I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION. http://tfl.nu/w75i

Replies (8) Good night (587) Bad night (308)

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