Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
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Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed