i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
