dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
