Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
pop tarts are not kleenex
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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