i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
