Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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