wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
