Sry I called you an 8
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
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My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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