p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
