New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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