So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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