So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I want a musical about memes.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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