She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
