Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
