It's like a parade of train wrecks.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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