good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
