I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
