i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
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