hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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