a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i wish my penis had a tongue
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize