Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
