So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
