He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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