I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
