I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
