No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
