they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
