Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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