"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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