Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
