i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
