So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
