my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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