i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Are we still banned from the library?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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