Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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