theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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