i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize