the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
