Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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