You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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