You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15