Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
