Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

You know you think of me naked too

(210): View more from Texas

Not since I found Jesus

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

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(951): View more from California

As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it

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(734): View more from Michigan

you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well

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(804): View more from Virginia

I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store

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(765): View more from Indiana

She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?

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(416): View more from Toronto

you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do

(919): View more from North Carolina

so drinking tonight?

(252): View more from North Carolina

Be there in 15

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